Praying into the Silence

All week I have watched
as people who know me well
see me differently than I know myself to be.

(An awareness of amazing emancipation.)

My journey all of Lent
has been deeply internal,
prayerful and excruciatingly self-aware.

(An awareness of incredible blessing.)

All week I have watched
as people who do not know me well
help me see myself anew.

(A awareness of unexpected affirmation.)

My Lenten steps have been toward freedom.
Freedom to be myself unfettered,
Unfettered from criticisms that seek to destroy.

(A awareness of internal reconciliation.)

I have experienced daily acts of forgiveness
toward those whose pain and insecurity
blind them to love and understanding.

(And I pray such forgiveness when I have acted out of pain not love.)

Each day, even in the midst of very difficult times,
I have experienced sacred moments
of light and hope to hold fast to always.

(And I pray such sacred moments for all.)

This Holy Week has brought unexpected affirmation
of all of my callings, personal and pastoral,
at the culmination of a journey through deep self.

(And I pray such holy affirming for all.)

Through Lent, I expected tearing down, yet there was only letting go.
I expected to fear self-reflection; instead it embraced me.
I saw the rooster as self denial; instead it was about self worth.

(And I pray such loving self-embrace and healing release for all.)

I am all the things I know myself to be.
I am some of the things others say I am.
I can let go of those that I am not.

I only need to live up to my true self,
To know and cherish the me I was created to be
And to accept, at last, the holy embrace of self.

And so I pray into the silence of Holy Saturday
That it may be so.
And so it is.
Amen.